Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hmmm... not so much.

A friend of mine wrote something on his blog that while very nice, and I understand where he's coming from, it's just that I don't have the same feeling of hope.

At the place where I work there is a program for recovering addicts. Or rather, thats what it's supposed to be for. However , what I  see is a revolving door of recidivism. The "clients" come in, dry out, do the 12 step stuff, leave, fall into the same old shite and then they're right back in and begging to be let back into the program.

I know that there are success stories of recovery. My father, whom to the best of my knowledge is 35 years sober is one of them. I really think that there needs to be a seriously profound and scary shock to the person as the catalyst. Otherwise there isn't the goal or impetus for them to really want change.  For my father it was us leaving his abusive rages.

I've seen more than one person go through the devastation of a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse. I have seen men that when I first met them 10 or so year back were intelligent, thoughtful  (when  sober) individuals. Then through the years, the poisons take their toll. Turning the people in more than one instance, blithering, drooling, or suspitious and paranoid.

And then they die.

I know that working at that place has changed me. I know that once upon a time I cared. Now, I try to see the best in people but sometimes, it's so far off that I need a telescope to see it.


Jeffrey Stutsman said...

There are times when skepticism is uncalled for: The love of a newborn baby perhaps. And there are times when it is appropriate: Say, If someone were to tell you lions are friendly and a Fannie Mae ARM is a good idea, for example. Recovery from addiction is an unfortunately rare thing. It is precious. It can be truly difficult to stay optimistic in the face of such odds, but people can and do recover. We're not aboard the Titanic, or if we were, we are at least on one of the rowboats. If you have to help 30 people so that one can recover, is it worth it? And how can you keep your chin up after 29 fail?

getinlost said...

I don't know. I can't imagine being able to do that. I have learned that I am not a very forgiving person. Also that I have a lot of work and learning to do. You are fortunate to have that ability or learned it.

How many times did your "one" fail?

Do some get it the first time?

My experience has hardened me to the human condition.

As for the skepticism with my newborn child. It was there. On my part, was I worthy.

Yokota Fritz said...

We might know some of the same people. Still, I've seen people recover, and then I also know people who've been drug free (X) years only to fall off the wagon. *sigh*

gregoryyy said...

Totally relate.

But,I think that feeling is the signal,to push forward.
These things are attacks on our spirit in my opinion and experience.